Soul Pain
by Sarryn
Summary: The (real) sequel to Past and Present. Read and Review with your comments.
1. Default Chapter

Soul Pain

The precious grave screamed desecration from the gapping hole and carelessly piled mounds of freshly dug dirt. The weathered headstone listed to one side, a drunken guard with nothing left to watch. Rot and decay, pure in their secret hideousness, lay despoiled for all prying eyes to gaze upon. Thick, pink worms wriggled in agitation among the upset earth. 

Terror, horror and apprehension clutched my silent heart. I knelt beside the upturned soil and gazed into the blasphemous wound. It dwelled in silent sorrow, forever to display the vile rape upon the sanctity of its contents. 

"Kain." The ragged curse of a name lacerated my mind with the implications of the pillaged gravesite. A timeless, boundless enmity welled up to rip me apart. He had stolen the fleshless, lifeless bones of Tanim to make another accursed child, a dark daughter this time. 

Was it not enough that I had destroyed the woman I loved? Was even the oblivion of death to be denied her tortured soul? The death of my past self by my future self's hands had condemned us both. I had been reborn into a vile state of limbo while she extinguished her own life, or had tried. The ruin of her grave proved her actions futile. Fate wouldn't allow her peace for her sin of loving me without condition or regard. 

Rage and guilt goaded my body into motion. The mind-shattering knowledge of the sacrilegious ritual to be performed upon her unwilling bones spurred me to greater speed. I knew where my malicious creator had taken her, even as I knew I would not make it in time. 

Destiny was about to deal another card into my deck of fate. The cycle of my own damnation had come to this crossroads. My cursed love would be brought back into an unwilling existence; an existence she had forfeited with her own mad hand. At every turn I brought her agonizing misery and yet I could not have done otherwise. Perhaps this was destiny's revenge for my impertinent trespasses and my desire to break free of the set course. 

The doors of the crumbling Sarafan fortress burst with the power of my fury and I charged inward. I knew no other thing than the urgency, the overwhelming necessity of preventing Kain from realizing his plan. If nothing else, I would let her tortured spirit remain free of any earthly chains of flesh. I would not allow her to be damned in the same manner as myself had been. 

"Kain!" I threw myself upon the unyielding metal of the final obstacle between my love and myself. The loathsome wretch turned towards me with a bitter and triumphant smile.

"Raziel, have you come to stop me?" he asked with mild curiosity and copious amounts of cold amusement. 

"Leave her be, Kain. If you try and—"

"It is too late, boy. I have tried and I have succeeded." He gestured behind him to the silent ghost standing there. She stood there.

A wrenching, guilt-filled love surged through my emaciated body at the glorious and horrifying sight. Her dark hair cascaded down her back in unkempt waves, her traditional braid gone. Tired purple eyes regarded me with some unfathomable light. Pale, perfect and dead, she stood before me, beyond my reach, and no recognition greeted me. 

"You've…" The pained words died before they could be aired. He had done it, damn him. "Why? Why must she be tortured?"

"You sound weak, Raziel. This is no time for weakness." Her eyes moved towards him as if compelled. I dimly recalled the power in his voice upon my first awakening as a vampire. His words had held a pull similar to Tanim's, yet hers held no magic.

"How dare you defile this woman in this way. What madness coerced you into perpetrating this? Answer me, Kain!" I roared, shaking the solid gate between us. 

"Fate." He laughed coldly and ushered her forward. She obeyed with helpless acquiescence. 

"Fate?"

"Indeed. It is that great destroyer of lives that brought us to this outcome. The reshuffling of our cards brought us to this. I am playing this role because some things must be done in order to prevent other things. For once I shall play the willing pawn, but at least I will know that."

"That is no excuse. Damn you."

"That has already been done."

"Who…" her quiet voice silenced our argument. Tanim, gentle, sweet ghost of a woman, looked down at the decaying tatters of cloth covering her pale body and then back up at Kain. Her tired eyes, still the same as my painful memory, regarded him with the awe and fear of a devote worshiper. He was her god. 

"Yes?" the wretch prompted with surprising gentleness. Who would have known he could ever conceive such a tender tone of voice?

"Who am I?"

***

Okay, I know I said I wasn't going to write a sequel anytime soon, but, obviously, I lied. I'm sorry. So here it is the continuation of this sad story arc. Please review with your views.

Sorry for the shortness of this first chapter, the rest will be longer. 


	2. Hurting

Soul Pain

"Who am I?" Tanim repeated in desperation. Her pale hands clutched Kain's arm and stared up into his face with the innocent confusion of a child. "Please, tell me."

"You've erased her memory haven't you?" I growled, shaking the gate between us with all the rage and guilt that filled my emaciated body. My sire regarded me coldly, calmly removing her from his arm.

"Would you have her remember the circumstances of her death? Would you have those memories torment her? Drive her mad?" he demanded. His eyes bore into mine. He left the accusation unspoken, but it hung there, choking me. Her madness, her death, all my damned fault. If only I could hate her, then the sight of her standing there wouldn't eat me alive. 

"No. I would have her dead and in peace."

"Then kill her, boy. Kill her and claim her defiled soul." He pushed her forwards. She stumbled, unsteady on her feet, and grasped the gate to regain her balance. Her purple eyes stared into mine with uncertainty. I reached through and grasped her by her throat. She watched me unblinking. I could rip her head off and her soul would rise from her body, chained by its vampiric corruption until I consumed it. My claws tightened. She made no attempt to free herself.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. Kain watched us impassively, uncaring of the outcome. I had to kill her, release her. I had to. I had to…but…I couldn't. I released her and she stumbled away. The bastard caught her before she fell.

"What's wrong, Raziel? I thought you wanted her dead? What's more appropriate than to liberate her soul by your own bloodstained hands?"

"Shut up."

"Perhaps we should talk when you are less distracted. Come along, my dear." He guided her away from me. Tanim watched me over her shoulder, tired eyes tracing my features awkwardly. 

"Who am I?"

"It doesn't matter right now," Kain murmured turning her head away. "You will learn soon enough."

"Who is he?"

"Him?"

"Yes."

"Merely one of fate's pawns. Do not concern yourself with him now."

They vanished through a dark doorway. Gone.

"Tanim!" I couldn't stop myself. I had to cry her name. I had to make her remember me, even if it meant she would remember everything. My love, my only treasure, how much torture did I have to experience. We should never have met.

***

__

"Hold still!" the healer commanded slapping Raziel across the head. He glared at her and she returned it with her own of tired annoyance. 

"That hurts!" he complained, jerking his injured arm out of her grasp. 

"It would hurt less if you would hold still. In fact, you wouldn't even have it, if you had been faster on your feet." She grabbed his arm, but he quickly pulled it from her grasp. "Stop acting like a child and let me tend it."

"I want another healer. Someone with more experience."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Fine."

Without warning she tackled him. He struggled against her, but an injured arm and a sense of chivalry prevented him from really trying. He soon found himself sprawled upon the examining table with her atop and holding his wounded arm in a vise-like grip. She gave him a tired but triumphant smile and quickly grabbed a bottle of antiseptic off the table next to them. 

"You should have just stayed quiet, Lord Raziel. This would have taken less time if you had just cooperated," she murmured as she dabbed a generous amount of antiseptic into the jagged wound. "Bandage!" A healer apprentice appeared out of nowhere and handed her a roll of gauze. With deft hands she wrapped the wound in a length of soft gauze.

"That wasn't so bad now was it?" He glared daggers at her as she hopped off.

"What is your name?"

"Healer Tanim."

"I shall remember that," he threatened. 

"Here." Suddenly a stick of dried honey was shoved before his face.

"What…?" He looked up into the healer's tiredly smiling face. 

"I generally only give these to my younger patients, but you've acted like such a child that I felt you needed one." With a small salute she walked away from her dumbfounded patient to attend another. He stared at the sugary treat and growled. A child? Him?

Not about to make a scene in the infirmary, he quietly left, tossing the treat on the floor as he left. He would exchange words with her at a later date. She could count on that. 

***

I wished I could hold her in my memories. I leaned back against the gate and watched time pass through the ruined ceiling. What vile acts was he performing in there? If I could shed a single tear, I would. So close, she was so close. I could feel her presence breathing across my skin, but I couldn't reach her. 

Why couldn't I kill her? End the suffering I had begotten? I loved her too much, and I was selfish. Hope and joy, though I deserved neither, had burst over me the moment I saw her in the flesh. I wanted…I wanted…I couldn't destroy her, release her, for I wanted to bind her to me. I wanted to make up for centuries of torment by prolonging it. What I wouldn't give to hold her and never let go. 

Never let go…

We had eternity…

***

After the long wait, here's another, slightly longer than the first. Please read and review. Sorry for the wait. Much love, y'all. 


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